I thougt, I was on my way and did things right, but then it kicked me – again, and again. I was not sure, if I kicked it before and if I had a choice to kick it or to kick it not. I only tried to be honest (especially with myself), but it kicked me – again and again. Then, when I looked back, it showed me things I did not right and times when I was not trusting in it (also in myself). I tried to do it better next time, but again it kicked me. In the end there was nothing – not even doubts that it all should happened like this. There was only silence and I gave my best to listen and to find out, what it still wanted to tell me. I corrected things in my life and kept faith in it to close doors of opposite opportunites. And now, as it has quiten down, I would like to say, that it will be back soon. I would like to say, that I strongly believe in this. But as there is no certainty I am afraid that this is not true. Maybe truth is, that I make myself believe in it – again and again. But I can not hurry it. I can only do the things as good as I can and hope that it will be back soon. And I know, I will make mistakes (again) and I will correct them – again and again. This is all I can do and this is what I strongly believe in. And after all it becomes clear that the idea of it was there – all the time and with all the choices I finally made. So now then I am not afraid to say, that I believe in it – and that it can be back at anytime. Anytime can be now. Now, it can be the right time (to kick-start, again).

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